You accept what you allow ~
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You accept what you allow
We often wonder why we get treated in a certain manner. Perhaps we are not taken seriously, perhaps we don’t get the respect we deserve, perhaps we feel ignored or that our opinions/points of view are not important. Naturally we blame other people for this. They are the ones not respecting or seeing us or validating us and this may feel very true.
In actual fact, we are the ones allowing this kind of behaviour. I am a recovering people pleaser and with that comes letting a lot of things go, not saying anything to rock the boat, laughing it off, ignoring it. But by not saying anything, I am allowing this kind of behaviour. Now some things are just not worth fighting about, but some things are.
Boundaries
We have to decide where our boundaries are to start off with. We decide what kind of behaviour is acceptable to us and what is not. For example, if someone starts shouting and swearing at me, I will put the phone down or leave the conversation, that is one of my boundaries. The other person is allowed to act any way they want and may continue to do so and I have no control over what another person does. What I do have control over is my actions in relation to what is happening, it is my boundary.
Decide ahead of time what feels disrespectful. If someone is continually late, or does not do what they say they are going to do, or someone continually speaks over you, or is argumentative – all these are examples of somethings that you could find disrespectful. If any of these things show up, decide what you are going to do and then do it. People pleasing is when others do these things and you are too scared to speak up in case they don’t like you, or they will be offended or upset. And they will most probably be, but that is their problem.
You accept what you allow
You get to decide how you are treated and it should be no less than how the queen is treated. Ok so perhaps no bowing or curtsying, but for the respect part, absolutely.
This brings me to another point, people reflect back to you how you think about yourself. If you think you are not worthy of respect, or to be seen, they will probably treat you like that. You are worthy just because you are. You do not have to do anything to prove your worthiness, you do not have to have a ton of money to be worthy.
Respect
Our former President Mandela insisted on respect, even when he was jailed. All the prisoners and guards used to call him Mr Mandela and not because he was arrogant, but because he commanded respect with his behaviour. So you do not have to be the queen or a wealthy person, you just have to decide that you are worthy.
It is time to raise your standards, for yourself and for how other people treat you. Now, as said before, you cannot control how others treat you, but if you start believing you are worthy of respect and treat yourself this way, others will follow.
Personal Life Coach
1 on 1 Personal Coaching
Hi, I’m Antoinette Porter, your hostess at Live Life Inspired where we will explore what is possible in your life. A life you can look back on and say, “Wow!! I did that!”
A lot of my clients battle with weight loss and that is also an indication that they are not respectful of their bodies, of what kind of foods they put in their bodies. You have to be respectful of yourself first. Many of us are just not in tune with ourselves, we eat just because we can or we think something looks good. We don’t actually pay attention to if we are hungry. We discount ourselves and our feelings.
Be more aware, be curious how you treat yourself and how others treat you. Do you like how you feel or could you make some adjustments? This is ongoing work and will not happen in a day, but it is worth at least paying attention to what is going on around you.
You are so worthy and don’t let anyone tell you differently, not even yourself. We are in the business of curating a live that is worth living, one that is extraordinary and it takes work.
Till next week.
A
Xxx
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