Blog
What is Anger Teaching You!
WHAT IS ANGER TEACHING YOU?
Anger is natural and sometimes very necessary in order to defend yourself when attacked. Like all emotions though, it is not bad thing when it comes up at any other time.
You have read in some of my other blogs about feeling your emotions and this includes anger. So when it comes up try to be curious about it. Firstly, name it and then notice where do you feel it in your body. Then ask yourself why you are feeling anger, what thoughts produced this emotion?
Remember it is not the situation outside of yourself that has caused the anger, but your thoughts about what is going on that is causing you to be angry. For example, say someone cut you off in traffic and you get angry. The facts of the matter is this person cut you off, a neutral fact, no emotion about it.
What you think is….what an idiot….what the hell is he thinking….can’t he see me….he can’t drive to save his life…and perhaps some other choice words. See how your thoughts are the cause of your anger?
The good news is that you have the control here, you can control your thoughts around this. You could decide to think…perhaps he really did not see me…perhaps he is driving on auto-pilot and not paying as much attention as he should be…or send him blessings, perhaps he is having a really hard day. Do you see that a change in thoughts is all it takes to not descend into anger?
Acting on your emotion does not mean taking it out on the person who “provoked” you. You know…showing him…telling him like it is….giving him a piece of your mind…shouting. This does not serve you. Nothing good can come out of it. It is not good for your health either, ladies.
When you get curious about anger, you can ask yourself some good questions. Generally anger is a secondary emotion, there is usually something else going on, sadness, fear, frustration, jealousy, hurt, disappointment, worry or embarrassment. So ask yourself if something else is going on. I can guarantee that once you are in the position of being curious and looking in on what’s up, your anger will start to dissipate. Now you can approach a situation in a calm manner and you will project trust and respect, also knowing that you can handle any such situation.
What happens though when you are justified in your anger? Like when someone steals from you, or your boyfriend cheats on you? Your thoughts are on a loop, rehashing the situation and you think your anger is useful and necessary. You may even go to thinking about a bit of revenge. Sometimes anger feels powerful, like you are evening the playing field. So how do we manage this? How do we get out of this loop?
What helps me is imagining I am a toddler having a tantrum. I don’t know about you, but this very thought just makes me laugh!
You are not taking responsibility for your anger. You are blaming someone else.
Now is there something useful you can do? I am not talking about shouting, kicking and screaming or swearing. Can you get a refund? Can you notify someone that the thing is not working? Can you join a rally? Can you take useful action?
If you are angry a lot of the time it will be useful to examine your beliefs. Do you want to hang on to your anger or do you want it to spark good instead? You can use it to make positive changes, to create something amazing and beautiful.
Another point to remember….if you can…in the midst of your anger is that the other person can do whatever it is they want, it may not be right (as per you or anyone else for that matter), but it is their choice. What you can control, is you, your thoughts, emotions and actions. Don’t give them the power over you, don’t let them control your emotions. This is great news! You get to decide how you feel, how you act, how you show up. You are not a toddler throwing yourself to the floor, you are someone who controls your emotions and what anger means to you and how you can deal with it.
Be kind to yourself, this won’t happen overnight, you have to keep practicing these techniques and the more you practice the better you will get at it. One day you will wake up and you will be a woman who is slow to anger, you will be a woman who is deliberate, you will be creating instead of reacting.
Thank you for reading ladies. Please share your thoughts….
xxx
Some laughter -:)
PRIVACY STATEMENT
It is my goal to respect the online privacy of visitors to Live Life Inspired’s website. Personally identifiable information, like an e-mail address, telephone numbers or personal information is used primarily for the purpose of administering and executing existing information for member records and applications. I do not disclose any information to 3rd parties.
