The Many Faces of Autism

When people hear the word “autism”, many picture a specific kind of child – the quiet one who avoids eye contact, perhaps lining up toys or flapping their hands.  And while those behaviours can be part of the autistic experience, the truth is that autism wears many faces.  It shows up in different ways, in different people, at different stages of life.  Like a kaleidoscope, no two people with autism are exactly the same, and that’s what makes it all so fascinating and yes, even humorous at times.

As parents, we know that autism is not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis.  You have seen it up close in your child – the moments that leave you speechless with wonder, the challenges that test your patience and the quirks that make you smile (even on days when you want to pull your hair out).

The many faces of Autism

One of the more familiar “faces” of autism is the quiet thinker – the child who seems lost in their own world, silently observing rather than engaging.  They may prefer to communicate in ways other than words, perhaps through gestures, pictures or even a few carefully chosen sounds.  It is easy to misunderstand this silence as indifference, but as many parents have discovered, there is often a deep well of thoughts and emotions underneath.

Maybe your child is like my son – partially verbal but always finding ways to communicate.  I often joke that he can say more with one gesture than most people can with a full paragraph.  And when I finally decode this unique language, it is like cracking the code to the universe.  There is a world of creativity, humour and connection with that quiet thinker, just waiting to be discovered.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the outspoken performer.  These are the ones who speak their minds-sometimes in ways that leave you scrambling for an appropriate response in public.  They might have an intense interest in specific topics and won’t hesitate to share everything they know about it with anyone who will listen (or even those who aren’t listening).

The many faces of Autism 

If your child has ever launched into a 20-minute lecture on the history of dinosaurs to a total stranger at the grocery store, you know what I mean.  The performer does not just know facts, they live and breathe their passions.  And while it might feel overwhelming at times, it is also a reminder of the unique brilliance within them.  Let’s be honest – having your child correct you in front of other adults?  That is a humbling experience every parent of an outspoken performer has had.

One of the more complex faces of autism revolves around sensory processing.  Some children are sensory seekers, drawn to bright lights, loud sounds or intense textures.  Others are sensory avoiders, overwhelmed by things that might seem completely ordinary to us – a buzzing light, the feel of certain fabrics or a hand dryer.

Navigating life with a sensory-sensitive child can feel a bit like playing detective.  Will the park be too loud today?  Is that new shirt itchy?  Why does the sound of a lawnmower send them into a tailspin?  It can be exhausting, but it also gives you a front-row seat to the incredible ways their brain processes the world.

And then there is the humour!  My son spends afternoons happily jumping on the trampoline, because, to him, it feels amazing and helps him regulate.  To anyone else, it looks like he is practicing a Cirque de Soliel act!  There is a certain joy in embracing these moments and seeing the world from their sensory perspective-even if it leaves you exhausted, just watching.

The many faces of Autism

Then there is the child who thrives on routine.  Many autistic children feel a sense of safety in predictability.  Change – even the smallest disruption – can send them reeling.  This is the child who will remind you (several times) if you drive a different way home or if you dared to put the yoghurt in before the berries.

While routine can be a comforting constant, it can also be a bit rigid.  As parents, we walk the tightrope of providing that necessary structure while slowly introducing flexibility.  But, oh, the panic that ensues when they can’t have their bath at exactly 5pm.  It is in those moments that humor becomes your lifeline.  And if you have ever tried to convince a child that breakfast for dinner is fun (and not a breach of some unspoken law), you know the negotiations that can follow.

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There is also the rule follower.  This face of autism thrives on clear guidelines and they will make sure everyone sticks to them.  They are the ones reminding teachers of the classroom rules, pointing out when someone cuts the line and giving a side-eye to anyone who dares break the “no talking during movies” rule.

While it can be challenging when rules become inflexible, there is also something endearing about their dedication to fairness.  The world can feel chaotic and having a little rule-keeper can be a reassuring constant-until you are caught speeding by your own child in the backseat, that is.

You have probably seen many of these faces in your own child.  Each one comes with its own set of joys and challenges.  What bind them all is the incredible love and resilience you bring to the table every day.

So take a deep breath, laugh when you can and remember – no matter which face you’re seeing today, you are doing an amazing job.

Till next week.

A

Xxx

Your child is so diverse and if you are unsure how to handle it all or to help you child be fully themselves, I can help. Sign up for a consult. Click HERE.

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