Stop fixing yourself and start creating
So many of us think we need fixing. This is not true. We are perfect in every way. Do you think you were created with faults, shortcomings or with not enoughness?
Stop fixing yourself and start creating
So many of us think we need fixing. This is not true. We are perfect in every way. Do you think you were created with faults, shortcomings or with not enoughness? Do you look at a baby and think they are less than perfect? Absolutely not, right? We are all different, but that does not make us less or better than anyone else.
Think of ourselves as perfect
If we think of ourselves as perfect and not in need of fixing, what would you start doing? What would you start creating? Who would you be? A lot of my clients have bookshelves groaning with self-help books, how to lose weight, how to be a better person, how to make money, etc. All these books imply that there is something wrong with you, that you need help, when all you need is belief in yourself. Note that self-development is different to self-help. Developing yourself is encouraged, learn about yourself, what you like and what you don’t. We should never stop learning and growing.
My view on self-help, is firstly, you don’t need to be fixed and secondly if you are battling with a particular problem go to an expert (hint: a coach))), doctor or specialist or weight loss group. It is far more beneficial for you to get in-person help than buying a book. And I love my books, but if you are after results, go to the person that can help you. If a book could help us achieve a result, we would have done it already.
Let’s get back to the question of what would you be creating if you were not spending all your time trying to fix yourself?
Perhaps you could be thinking of the person you really want to be. What kind of books does she have on her bookshelf? Does she like travelling? Does she like fashion? Does she like all things nature? Fill your bookshelf with all your interests. Do the things that you imagine that version of you would be doing.
Personal Transformation Coach
1 on 1 Personal Coaching
Hi, I’m Antoinette Porter, your hostess at Live Life Inspired where we will explore what is possible in your life. A life you can look back on and say, “Wow!! I did that!”
During lockdown, I had plenty of time on my own and decided I was done hiding, I was done playing small, I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I did not quite know what that looked like, but I was curious to see where that would lead me. It led me to coaching, it led me to finding my fiancé, it led me to finding the best situation for my autistic son.
My life is vastly different from 2 years ago, and I’m not done yet.
My point is that once I stopped looking at my past, and ruminating about what went wrong and what I could have done differently, I started looking to the future and started creating a future. One that I wanted, one that was positive and exciting and has me growing in so many ways.
You may want to argue that you do need fixing, that you do need to lose weight, you do need to change jobs, whatever that is for you. Yes, there may be things that you would like to change, but you as a person does not need fixing.
If you need to lose weight
If you need to lose weight, that is a circumstance, you weigh 80kgs and you want to weigh 60kgs. This is just an outside circumstance which you can do something about. Look to the future you who has lost that 20kgs. Who is she? Do you think she would be super excited to have lost the extra weight? For sure. This is what I am talking about. You may have a certain set of circumstances that you would like to change and achieving them would be awesome, you are looking to the future with hope and excitement.
You have lost nothing in your past, it’s over and done. The only thing you should be bringing along with you from there, are the lessons you learnt. This is not to beat yourself up about either, it is just something you tried in the past and it did not work and now you know. We cannot change the past, however much we think and wish and ruminate. We can change the now and the future and we can make better choices and become the version of ourselves that we want to be.
You are beautiful, clever, smart and 100% worthy. Now what would you like to create in your life?
Till next week.
A
Xxx
Come and join us for some fun and laughter at the Self Image Workshop we are hosting on 19 November. You are going to learn about which colours suit you best, which styles are right for you and how to treat yourself like the Queen you are.
If this does not sound cool enough, we are also going to be consuming copious amounts of champagne. Yes, I knew that would get you interested. Email me on hello@lliautism.net
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