Power of Routine & Structure

One of the most powerful tools in helping our children navigate the world of autism is establishing a routine and lots of structure.  For our children, routine is more than just a daily schedule – it’s a source of comfort, predictability and stability in a world that can seem very overwhelming.

Routines provide a sense of security for our children.  They often find comfort in knowing what to expect because it helps them make sense of their surroundings and reduces anxiety.  Imagine walking into a room where everything is constantly changing. 

That’s how many autistic children feel when faced with unpredictable situations.  A consistent routine can be like a lighthouse in a storm, guiding them safely through each day.

Power of Routine & Structure

For example, knowing that breakfast is always followed by a favourite activity, like playing with a specific toy or watching a certain show, can help your child transition smoothly from one part of the day to the next.  In our routine, Max (my son) has breakfast and then we go down to the basement so that I can work out.  So this routine works for both of us. 

Routines can help you, as a parent, better manage your day, giving you a clearer sense of what to expect and how to support your child too.  Routines reduce unpredictability that can lead to meltdowns or heightened anxiety.

Structure goes hand in hand with routine but adds a layer of clarity and order to your and your child’s day.  While routine is about the sequence of activities, structure involves setting clear expectations and boundaries within those routines.

Power of Routine & Structure

For instance, if part of your routine involves going the grocery store, structure would mean explaining what will happen at each stage of the trip – getting into the car, choosing specific items, waiting in line and checking out.  This structured approach helps your child mentally prepare for each step, reducing the chances of being overwhelmed by the experience.

In addition, structure can enhance your child’s independence.  By establishing clear expectations and consistent patterns, your child can learn to anticipate and follow through with tasks on their own.  This boosts their confidence and helps them develop essential life skills over time.

Pros of routine & structure

• Consistent routines help reduce the anxiety and stress that come with unpredictability. When your child knows that to expect, they feel more in control, which can lead to a calmer and more relaxed demeanor.
• A predictable routine can help minimize behavioural issues. When a child knows what comes next, there is less room for confusion and frustration, which can sometimes manifest as challenging behaviour.
• Routines and structure allow your child to become familiar with tasks and activities, which can encourage independence. Over time, they may begin to complete tasks on their own because they know what is expected of them.  For Max, he knows that when we go out, he needs to put on his shoes, go to the toilet and grab Toto, the dinosaur & a toothbrush and toothpaste (the latter two items are in favour right now).
• When the family follows a routine, it creates a rhythm that everyone can rely on. This shared experience can strengthen family connections a create a sense of unity and understanding.
• With structure, you can incorporate activities that build essential skills, like communication, self-care and problem solving. These skills are vital for your child’s growth and future independence.

Cons of routine & structure

We have to also note that routines & structure also presents some challenges.

• One potential downside of strict routines is that they can lead to rigidity. If your child becomes overly reliant on a specific routine, any disruption can be incredibly distressing.  For example, if you take another route to the store, it may lead to a meltdown because the expected sequence of events has been interrupted.
• It can also make it harder for a child to adapt to unexpected changes. In life, as we know, change is inevitable and while structure provides stability, it’s also essential to gradually introduce flexibility into the routine to help your child cope with life’s unpredictability’s.
• Parent can get burnt out. The pressure to keep everything consistent can be exhausting, especially when life throws curveballs.  It is important to add in routines that work for both you and your child.
• It can also limit opportunities for spontaneous fun and new experiences. It is also valuable to allow for moments of flexibility where you can introduce new activities or break from the norm in a way that is manageable for your child.

The key is to find balance for you and your child.  Remember it is as important to take care of yourself as it is to take care of your child.

Till next week.

A

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