Lessons by Max
As some of you might know from reading my blog, I have an autistic son called Max. He is the most amazing little miracle and he has humbled me. Max was born at 27weeks and weighed just 900g. He was such a tiny little thing, but what a fighter.
Lessons by Max
As some of you might know from reading my blog, I have an autistic son called Max. He is the most amazing little miracle and he has humbled me. Max was born at 27weeks and weighed just 900g. He was such a tiny little thing, but what a fighter. After numerous operations and more than a few misdiagnoses, he came home at 9 months with a trachea and a feeding tube.
I thought taking care of a baby would be a challenge, but this was a whole another ball game. Dealing with doctors, procedures, blood transfusions and all the equipment Max was attached to, was beyond daunting. What I did realise is that I was so much stronger than I thought.
If my baby was willing to fight, I would be there for him every step of the way. What for me was a non-negotiatable, was not for others. Some of those babies in ICU did not see their parents every day, it was heartbreaking.
Despite all the challenges Max had
Despite all the challenges Max had, he was such a happy baby, always full of wonder and smiles. So no matter how hard your life is or what challenges you face, look for and enjoy the wonders around you. It costs nothing to choose to be happy and to smile.
Max was diaganosed with ASD and ADHD around 4.5 years old. While he loved being in school and loved being around other kids, he was not talking or participating in the activities. And his energy was through the roof. It’s been a process and not having had other children, I had no rule of thumb to work by. But if you know anything about autistic kiddies, they are all so different and motivated by any number of things. What you read in books is not really something you can apply to your child.
Next lesson
Sometimes you just have to use your intuition, however crazy that may look to an outsider. You cannot always follow what you read on the internet or what another mom does with her child. My child’s brain works differently and I take that into consideration and do what works for my child.
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Judgement
Unfortunately one of the other things we have to deal with is judgement. Due to the autism Max has difficulty in controlling his body. His body does not listen to his brain’s instructions. So this could look like running off and then he can’t stop, or scratching another child because he gets excited at seeing them. We often get told off or shouted at, because Max is “naughty” and I should be a stricter parent. It is very hurtful for Max as he is such a sweet and gentle child and he suffers from anxiety because he has very little control over his body.
I have had to grow a thicker skin and not let other people’s opinions get to me. My priority is to support and help Max grow into the beautiful little person he is. Other people are going to have their opinions and that is OK.
In my quest in helping Max with his journey, I have had to go through a lot of doctors, therapist, teachers, schools, medicines to find the right fit for Max and it hasn’t always been easy, especially not for Max. I am happy to say we have found the “perfect” triad (school, doctor and S2C therapist) and Max is growing in leaps and bounds. Another lesson in never giving up. Try and try again. You are going to fail and that is part of the process, but never give up. There is a jewel at the end of persistence.
Max has the biggest heart and even though most people don’t understand him and are impatient with him, he loves them anyway. He sees who they are through their tough exterior. Love people, even though they are different or going through a hard time.
Lessons from Max
Max’s speaking vocabulary is not huge yet, but he does communicate via spelling and his words are beautiful and he shows how much he cares. So even if you are not good with words, you can still show what another person means to you, by showing them and being in the energy of love.
Lastly, laugh. Max has this beautiful, infectious laugh. You just can’t help laughing with him and your troubles just become a little lighter. It is a reminder that life is not just about being serious, but about laughing and having fun and just enjoying your loved ones.
Till next week
A
Xxx
PS I am starting to host workshops for parent of Autistic kiddies and would love to hear from you he***@ll*******.net
