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How to Navigate the Holidays
HOW TO NAVIGATE THE HOLIDAY SEASON
While this is supposed to be a beautiful season to enjoy with family and friends, it is often the hardest time to deal with emotionally. Some of us don’t have family or friends that we can spend the festive season with. Loved ones are far away from us, this is especially true now that we are having to deal with this pandemic. Some may have also lost loved ones as a result and it feels as though nothing is the same anymore.
However, there are many who have their families and loved ones around and I encourage you to really be thankful for that. The US has Thanksgiving holiday and it may be a reminder with what has gone down this year, to really be present and thankful for everything and everyone we have in our lives.
Some ladies have a lot of stress around the holiday period
You have so much to do, family comes to stay, this all can create quite a bit of tension. Take a step back and decide who you want to be in your family. You may have many different hats and for each you will want to be different. Let me explain….as a mother you might want to be available to your children and you want to show unconditional love. As a friend you may want to be supportive, loving and connected. As a sister you might want to be understanding and have no expectations.
Take the time…
…and decide who you want to be. Doing this ahead of time often helps and eliminates the tension and stress that could arise. Remember people are going to people and instead of getting caught up in the drama, you decide ahead of time how you are going to handle things.
This is also a good time to set your personal boundaries too. For example, if there is a particular family member or friend that really winds you up, decide ahead of time how you are going to deal with it. Tell that person what you will do if they do/say XYZ, you will walk away, change the subject or whatever works for you. That person may do/say it anyway then you get a chance to implement your boundary, but they get to do what they want to and you have to let them.
Don’t have Family
For those who do not have family, perhaps question your thoughts around family. Does a family have to consist of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, children, etc? Or can it include friends, partners, acquaintances and other people who are alone during the holiday season? Are these people not worthy enough to be counted as family? Let go of your definition of family and give thanks for the people around you, who are there for you and who love you. Spread the love to others. There may be a single parent who does not have the kids with them for the holidays, or an elderly neighbour who would love an invitation.
If you are alone, I challenge you to find a way to make this season festive for yourself. You can speak to friends on the phone, you can cook yourself a delicious meal, have a glass of wine, or better yet champagne, read a good book and above all, give thanks for everything. Being grateful for all in your life is crucial to being happy.
Again here, you can decide who you want to be for yourself. You might want to talk to yourself kindly, have compassion for yourself and make space for any emotions that do come up for you around the holidays.
Your Future
Perhaps you can decide what your future family will look like. What kind of family are you looking for? What would you like from it? Use your imagination here. What would you like to do during the holidays? Do you want to play games or travel or stay home and have extended family visit?
This is not a time to beat yourself up, but to extend yourself some love and grace, no matter what your situation. Take the time to remember all the blessings the year had to offer, despite all that has happened. Take the time to rest and recoup, if you can, and slow down. Treat yourself well, try to eat healthily (most of the time) and go for long walks in nature to replenish your soul.
Conclusion
We have a whole spanking brand new year coming up with lots of exciting things to look forward to, so it is important to take a break and perhaps examine what you would like for the new year.
Ladies, enjoy your holidays and please drop me a line about what is happening for you….
A
xxx
PS – Don’t forget to view MY JOUNAL page for an awesome present for a loved one
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