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HOW TO DEAL WITH FAMILY DURING THE FESTIVE SEASON
It’s holidays for most of us, it’s Xmas, which means celebrating, getting together with family, presents, shopping, cooking and dealing with a possible drunk uncle.
HOW TO DEAL WITH FAMILY DURING THE FESTIVE SEASON
It’s holidays for most of us, it’s Xmas, which means celebrating, getting together with family, presents, shopping, cooking and dealing with a possible drunk uncle. It is “supposed” to be a time of joy and thanksgiving, being appreciative of one another and it often does not go that way. When a whole bunch of different personalities get together and you add some stress to the pot, do you really think it is going to go smoothly? 50/50 my friends! Some of it will be good and some not so much.
If you go in with the mindset of 50/50 you will probably enjoy yourself a lot more. It’s not going to be perfect and that is perfectly OK. If you take the time out to get your mind right in advance, you are already winning.
There are of course plenty of other things you could do to alleviate the stress of the holidays.
- Buy your presents and food well in advance.
- If you are hosting, keep your numbers to a minimum.
- Get others to bring dishes so that all the cooking is not all on you.
- If you “have to” invite your drink uncle, manage your mind around what may happen.
- There will be onery personalities, decide ahead of time that it will not bother you.
- If you are travelling, enjoy the journey and don’t get caught up in the drama of things going wrong.
- Practice being grateful. For all of it. Even the not so good bits.
Regular routine
It is a good idea to keep as much of your regular routine as possible. If you do exercise, keep at it. If you meditate, do that. Give yourself plenty of downtime and grace.
Now let’s deal with that mindset. Remember that every single person, you included, are allowed to be who they are. They can act in a manner that is not suitable, they can get drunk if they like, they can be catty if they like. In this process, you do you. You get to decide how you show up, for yourself and for everyone else. How other people act or whatever their opinion is of you, is none of your business. Don’t take it personally, because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Prepare yourself mentally
If you have an idea of what you are up against, you can prepare yourself mentally. You can decide to let them be them and you can still enjoy your holiday. You can let them say whatever they want and still show up in the manner you decide to.
This does not mean you let anyone walk all over you or do things that are inappropriate. For that you have your boundaries. By this I mean you decide how you are going to act if they violate your boundaries. You don’t even have to tell that person what you will do. So if your drunk uncle starts making nasty comments, you can just leave the room. You don’t have to be upset about it.
The boundary is for you, it is a decision you have made in advance that if he is being offensive, you leave. You are not at all obliged to stay because you think he or someone else will take offense if you leave. So what? You are taking care of you and that is what is important. You can set boundaries for yourself in any area.
If you have decided ahead of time how you are going to show up and how you are going to deal with the 50/50, you can actually relax and enjoy your family and friends.
One of my challenges
Spending Xmas on my own with my son. Coming from big family Xmas gatherings when I was a child, this was difficult. I made the decision ahead of time that I was going to enjoy it. I put up and decorated a beautiful tree, bought cute little presents for both of us, cooked an amazing meal and just enjoyed the time with my son. It was the perfect Xmas.
What are your challenges this Season? How can I help you navigate your challenges? Contact me for a free consult on hello@lliautism.net
Wishing you an awesome Festive Season.🎄🎁
A
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