How to be completely open in your relationships
Think about when you first meet someone, you want them to think the best of you, that you are a good person and consequently you act the way you think such a person would be. The same goes for in the dating world, you may put down interests that are not really you or pretend you are way more exciting than you really are.
How to be completely open in your relationships
Think about when you first meet someone, you want them to think the best of you, that you are a good person and consequently you act the way you think such a person would be. The same goes for in the dating world, you may put down interests that are not really you or pretend you are way more exciting than you really are.
This of course, does not work. You may hook the person, but at some point, they are going to find out who you are and you will find out who they are. It turns out to be quite a waste of time and you may wonder why you keep choosing people who are not a match for you.
Unique personalities
We are all perfectly interesting and we all have our own unique personalities and that is enough when you are meeting new people. If the other person does not like you, and some won’t, that is ok, there are a bunch of other people that will like you.
So it is always a good idea to be honest when you meet people. Now be careful not to overshare, that is not necessary. The more you get to know the other person the more they will get to know you.
Even when we are in relationships, we tend to hold our cards very close to our chest. Perhaps it is because we disagree with them, think they will think less of us or we are feeling insecure. This does not make for an open relationship. The whole idea is to get to know the other person, their good points and their weaknesses. If you love that person, you will accept all of it. If there are things that you do not like or is a big no-no for you, you have the choice to disengage from the relationship.
Being open
The only way you are going to get to know the other person is by being open and forthcoming and them extending the same courtesy to you. I always find it fascinating when some of my clients tell me their spouse should know to buy them flowers regularly. When I ask them if they tell their spouses this is what they want, they respond with “they should know”. Don’t know about you, but I am no mind reader and neither is your spouse. It’s almost as if you are setting each other up for failure.
In a relationship there are situations where you will agree with one another and there is no problem. However, it may happen that something happens and you both have very different ideas on how to solve it. This is the time to hash it out, talk about it, argue about it, get it all out. At the end of this you may settle on a compromise.
If not, you may just agree to disagree.
Just because you don’t agree with one another does not mean anything has gone wrong. There is no way we are always going to agree 100% with the other person in the relationship. It does not mean you don’t love each other, it just means you have a difference of opinion.
Personal Transformation Coach
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Hi, I’m Antoinette Porter, your hostess at Live Life Inspired where we will explore what is possible in your life. A life you can look back on and say, “Wow!! I did that!”
The Trick
Now the trick is, when you both disagree on something fundamentally important, for example, moving to a different country. One party wants to move, the other doesn’t. You have a decision to make. This is where a lot of other factors come in. You have to decide what is important for you, what it is that you want and measure your decision against. If your relationship is more important, you will probably make the decision to move, if not you have the peace of mind of having made a decision in line with your values.
Going against your values and making the move anyway, will not end well for either party. There have been times when I have disregarded my values, made decisions and emotionally paid the price, just because I did not want to upset other people. Now I evaluate all my decisions carefully as I know how painful it is not to acknowledge myself.
Let your guard down in your relationships.
You may be surprised that if you are vunerable to others, they will open up to you to. Much of our happiness comes from our close relationships. Nurture them.
Have a beautiful week.
A
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PS I would love to hear from you, my readers, what you would like to chat about or what you find challenging, so drop me a line on hello@liveliveinspired.co.za