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Healing from a traumatic relationship
HEALING FROM A TRAUMATIC RELATIONSHIP
I think everyone can agree that being in a traumatic relationship is not one of life’s fun experiences. In actual fact it is downright frightening. Some people manage to get out and go on to have very successful lives, albeit with a lot of post traumatic stress to deal with, but it is very possible.
Some people go into “hiding” and let the relationship dictate the rest of their lives. They let it define them. You are giving that person power over you, long after they are gone. You do not want to do that!
Once you have made the final break from the relationship, it is time to be kind to yourself, allow yourself the time to heal and figure out who you are as a person. In this type of relationship you tend to lose yourself, your joie de vivre, your friends, everything you hold dear. You have to rebuild your life and you can do this in a very positive way as you get to decide how you want to live.
Want to chat?
Please Ladies, if anyone needs coaching, contact me. Sessions are between 20-30minutes in length.
This may seem short, but you will be surprised at how much can be accomplished.
My Journal
Every day has a “Mmmoment…” to write down your thoughts of gratitude, your belly-tingling thought of the day or just something that makes you smile.
Negative things
Sure there are a lot of negative things that happened, that you read about, but you should also keep in mind the positive things that come out of it. I hear you say, there was no positive!! Perhaps not in the moment, but after breaking out there is so much to be grateful for.
People who have survived a traumatic relationship show huge amounts of strength, you dealt with all the negativity and you can still smile and laugh. That takes strength. You walked away, that takes strength. You would also have learnt to have patience and resilience.
You will be much better at creating boundaries. All these are beautiful positive traits that you have learnt. These you get to take with you and create a new life.
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Get professional help – (I offer coaching) email me
You need to take the time to talk to a professional about what you have been through, you were not to blame in any manner for the other persons actions. They alone are responsible for their behaviour. Talking about it puts things into perspective, because as long as you were in the relationship you were probably brainwashed into believing all sorts of things that were not true or true for you.
You may find that a lot of people that were in your life seemed to have dropped away. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Think about what they contributed to your life, did they support you? If not, you are better off without them.
Slowly but surely your true personality will shine through and you will start to attract a different kind of person into your life. You will find that you are more decerning about who you allow to be in your life. You will now pick up quirks and red flags a lot more quickly and decide to cut those people out of your life a lot more quickly.
Freedom
One of the most amazing feelings you will have, is that of freedom. You will be in charge of what you do, who you see, where you live, what you eat and drink and what you can think. Now you all know that only you have control over your thoughts and as a result your feelings, but when you are stuck in a traumatic relationship, you are not thinking clearly, you are not thinking for yourself. You have taken over the other person’s thoughts and beliefs to the point where you can go into depression. Again it is imperative to talk to a professional if this is you.
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself, you have been through a hard thing. You survived, you are a survivor! But don’t hang out there too long, you are an amazing human being who has so much potential which is now allowed to come out and you can show the world. This is how you heal and not just heal, but grow into the beautiful person you are.
Find your joy, it is in you, buried deep. Allow yourself to come alive and live this precious life of yours. People who have been through this trauma turn out to be these strong, amazing bad asses who change the world. You have a voice and the world needs to hear it.
What are you going to create with your new life? How are you going to show up? What are you going to create that is amazing?
I would love to hear your stories ladies. If you need coaching around this topic, email me he***@ll*******.netand let’s figure it out together.
Till next week.
A
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