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Feelings
FEELINGS
Ask yourself, “How am I feeling today?” What is your answer? Do you even know? Some of us are in the class of good, not so good, ok, great… a limited repertoire of feelings. Apparently there are around 34 000 different words for various feelings in the dictionary! Would it not be great to extend your vocabulary to include some really juicy, good-feeling, feelings? CLICK HERE for a list of powerful feelings.
There are good feelings and not so good feelings. None of them are bad though. I know that in a lot of self-help books, they encourage you to get off a bad feeling onto a good one as soon as possible. Here is why that is not a good idea. Life is 50/50, good and bad or challenging (depending on how you look at it).
It is a myth that you can be 100% happy all the time, yet we think that is the norm. Holding yourself to that kind of standard is debilitating. If you can accept that life is full of challenges and good things too, you move into the space of being that much happier.
What is going on in your life?
Feelings are an indicator of what is going on in your life. It is sort of an internal map which keeps you on track or aligned with yourself. But what happens when something bad happens to you, that is in no way your doing? That is what we call a circumstance, there is nothing you can do about the fact that it happened, but what you do have control over, are your thoughts about what happened. You are 100% in charge of your own thoughts. I know you are going to fight me on this, but it is true. You may not be able to change your thoughts easily, but it is entirely possible to do. It does take practice though.
Your thoughts then create your feelings.Â
So if you change your thoughts you will be able to change your feelings. I am going to challenge you, that before you are too quick to change your feelings, be curious about why you feel a certain way. If you are feeling sad, why? What are you thinking? Perhaps you just lost someone dear to you, in this case you want to feel sad. This is an appropriate feeling to have.Â
If you can’t quite put your finger on it, be curious about what you have been thinking. Is this a thought that serves you? If not, try a better feeling thought and soon you will start to feel better too.
Want to chat?
Please Ladies, if anyone needs coaching, contact me. Sessions are between 20-30minutes in length.
This may seem short, but you will be surprised at how much can be accomplished.
Have compassion for yourself
It is important not to beat yourself up for the feelings you have. Have compassion for yourself and just be curious about what is going on for you. They really are just an indicator of where you need to make some changes in your life. A lot of people think that you should just be thankful of the place you are in and yes that is important to always be thankful, but it does not mean that you cannot want more or something different.
Your life is about growth and you have to listen to your inner compass, if you don’t your feelings will get more and more pronounced. If you are not willing to listen, something will happen, you may get sick, lose your job or any number of things.
Fear
There are a few “unwanted” feelings that can actually be to your benefit. Fear being one of them. Fear is good when you are being chased by a lion, it tells your body and brain to run, climb a tree or do whatever you need to do to get to safety. That is part of your built in instinct to keep you alive. And what if you want to start your own business, you feel fear. It is your brain trying to keep you safe, but you have done the work and the research and you are ready to go for it. So you can feel the feeling of fear and still go ahead with your business. The feeling of fear will not kill you.
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Just Feelings
Most of us are afraid of actually feeling our feelings, fear included. They are, however, just feelings. Once you explore what they are all about, it lessens. Imagine the first time you have to talk in front of 1000 people, you are afraid, nervous, unsure. After the 50th time you may still feel these, but it is not quite as debilitating as before.
Love is another emotion that many people avoid, because they think if they love and it does not work out they will feel hurt. So they hurt ahead of time, they don’t even open themselves up to love and then feel the hurt of loneliness or disconnection.
Every single feeling is worth feeling, it grows you in ways you will never even imagine. Where are you holding back in your life? Live your life fully, take on all the feelings of the human experience and feel the richness of living to the max!
Till next week.
A
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Ps – Join me for some coaching, we can chat about all those feelings…..