Fear of success or failure
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Fear of success or failure
You would think that people cannot possibly be afraid of succeeding, yet it is a thing. Have you imagined the thing you really wanted? Perhaps winning the lottery? You start imagining all the things you could do, trips you could take, things you could buy and then your mind starts finding problems. If you had all this money everyone will start hitting you for a loan, or how will you curb your spending so you don’t land up broke again or you’ll be bored if there is nothing to work towards.
Our minds do this, we come up with all sorts of scenarios to keep us where we are. There is nothing really wrong about this. It is not your fault. It is just your brain trying to keep you safe and in the same spot. This is your primitive brain talking. Realistically though, if you really thought about all these obstacles you are coming up with and how to solve them, you would. What’s great here is that we have another part of our brain, our prefrontal cortex which loves planning and figuring out problems. Engage this part of your brain to figure out where to next.
Fear is only a feeling
There are a huge amount of very successful women, I have read about, who purposefully spend time in that fear. They go to worse case scenario, they feel the churning in their guts, they go cold, they listen to the monster who tells them it is never going to work, they are going to fail, who do they think they are. They feel the feeling of fear and then they get to work. These women aren’t born with confidence and just knowing how to do things, run companies, open businesses. They learn and they try and they fail and they never give up.
One thing they never do is lose sight of what they really want. They have doubts like we all do, but they keep going. They want the success and they are willing to do what it takes to get there. Now this does not mean you have to make all kinds of sacrifices, unless you want to. You have to decide if those sacrifices are worth it for you. There are many paths to success and everyone has to decide which path they will take.
Fear of success or failure
Of course, we have all been taught to be afraid of failing. Our school system is set up with tests and passing and failing and we get rewarded for doing well and shunned for failing. However, failing is about learning. To fail is to figure out another way and keep going. None of us are just great at things when we try them for the first time. Some have talents yes, but most of us have to try and try again. Kids are good at failing, they try new things all the time. As we get older we are not so adventurous because we have a fear of looking stupid and humiliating ourselves.
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All these are still just feelings. If we are willing to feel all the feelings and be ok with them, we would be more open to trying new things and putting ourselves out there. Again, the most successful people have most definitely failed and felt humiliation, fear, despondency. In actual fact most of them have sort out the fear every day in order to grow and get better at their craft.
By not even trying new things or starting a new business, we are failing ahead of time. We just decide we are not going to put ourselves on the line, we are not going to feel humiliated. Not even trying means you are already failing anyway. You are not even trying to get to the success, you are just going straight for the failure. What do you have to lose? In this case, everything. If you at least try you have a 50/50 chance of succeeding. So why would you not even try?
Till next week.
A
Xxx
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