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Fact vs Fiction
Fact vs Fiction
Facts are anything you, I or a court of law can agree upon. The sky is blue, you are a woman, you have X amount in your bank account. Things get a bit trickier when someone screams at you for example. The person saying things to you would be a fact, but that the person is screaming, is open to interpretation. Another person could see that person as just talking extremely loudly, you see it as screaming. See how it can be tricky?
This is where the fiction comes in.
What stories are you telling yourself? Your story comes in when you are making the fact mean something. You have a good or a bad thought about the fact. Then it becomes your fiction. When you have a thought about your fact, it creates a feeling for you and that is also your story. So let’s take the above example. The person is saying something to you, your thought is she is screaming at you and that it is very rude of her. You get offended or feel attacked and perhaps start shouting back at her. However, the only thing here that is a fact is that the person is saying something to you. All the rest of it is a story that you have made up and chosen to believe.
We are human
This is what all of us do. We are human. Just become aware of how this works out for you. Be aware that you have the choice of how you want to think and feel about something. If you don’t want to feel bad or angry about something that happened you do have the choice to pick a better thought. Perhaps you could think that this person had a really bad day and her screaming at you has nothing at all to do with you. When you think that you may have some compassion for this person and you may respond differently to her. You don’t have to make this about you.
Every person can see a situation in a different light, the situation may be exactly the same for these people. Let’s say it is 30 degrees outside, one person may say that it is really hot, another would say the weather is perfect and to her, 50 degrees is hot. See, same situation, different thoughts about the same fact.
Live your best life
How this can be useful to you, is noticing the fact vs fiction. If you want to feel differently about something, if you don’t want to constantly react but rather respond in an intentional way. Perhaps you feel you are a victim and don’t want to feel that way anymore. Perhaps you have been telling yourself the same negative story your whole life, but now want to move past it and think of it differently so that you can live your best life.
It would be a good idea to think of your stories around various issues, especially in areas you are trying to improve in. Write them down on paper, get these stories out of your head and on paper, then you can read them back to yourself and be curious about them. What are the facts of your story, pick those out and put them on a separate piece of paper. Once you have done that, what remains is just your story, your beliefs about the facts or things that have happened.
Create a new Story
Now this is the great part, you can create a new story, one that will move your forward, one that will serve you. Yes bad things happen, but think how could it have been a good thing for you? How did that bad thing that happened to you actually be for you?
Ask your brain, it will come up with something good, perhaps not immediately, but if you ask your brain to think of something, you will get something. That is how the brain works. Try on the new story and see how it feels in your body. Does it feel lighter? Does it feel like something has shifted for you? Does your new story feel more positive?
Being a Victim
I used to have a huge victim story and told it to everyone who would listen, affirming it, and my friends and family agreed that it was terrible. But I realized it was not serving me, it was holding me back, I was not living the life that I really wanted to live.
I started changing my story and with so much love for the person I was and who lived it. I started asking how what happened was a good thing and I realized I have become this amazing human being with so many awesome qualities in the process, which I may not have done had I not been on this journey. I now have so much peace around it and have started creating the life of my dreams.
What are your thoughts around your stories?
Till next week….
A
xxx💜
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