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Compassion
COMPASSION
I had a very different post planned for today, but decided to go with what my heart had to say. I buried a very good friend today! She was too young and had so much more life to live. She was admitted to hospital with pneumonia (not Covid!) and then things just got out of control and she didn’t recover. I am immensely sad and angry, trying to find meaning in it.
Neither friend nor family was allowed to visit due to Covid restrictions and this was hard on everyone as we feel she was alone at the end. The priest reminded us that this is one fact that was untrue and that she was never alone, which was a reminder of faith.
My friend was hot on faith and was always there for her friends and family, no matter what. She had time for everyone and was so kind in a sometimes, hard world.
Grief is a “not so funny” emotion. It can really knock the stuffing out of a person. It is a hard emotion that you just want to get over and move on. However, it is a good thing to feel your emotions, even the not so nice ones.
Life seems to be one great paradox: good, bad, yin, yang, black, white. The thing is you can’t have one without the other. How do you know you are happy if you have not experienced sadness or grief?
It’s ok to feel grief, just don’t live there. Do not run away from your emotions or bury them. This can cause all sorts of other issues. Here is where compassion comes in. It is important to be kind to yourself and to love these not so nice feelings, as messy as they are.
I am learning to love myself there
In many cases, being compassionate means we can look at things differently, in order to show love to ourselves and others. Compassion is empathy. Being open enables us to share how we face the tough feelings with creativity and resilience.
Compassion is a virtue and something to practice.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
5 ways to show yourself compassion
- Treat yourself with kindness. Stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Remind yourself how amazing you are, imperfection and all! You are you and there is not one other soul on this planet like you. You are therefore uniquely qualified to be you. Remind yourself every day how worthy and unique you are.
- Be passionate. Every single one of you has something you are passionate about. Find it. Listen carefully to that little voice, it knows a thing or two about what makes you tick. If you are still saying “I don’t know what that is”….ask a smart question….How can I find out what my passion is?…and see where it leads you.
- Have a grateful heart. Be grateful about everything, the big things…your life, your job, your kids, your house, your best friend….the little things…the smell of jasmine, your friends smile, the feel of the wind in your hair. Being grateful brings so much abundance to our lives and will even bring opportunities in worst situations. Keep a journal to note these snippets.
- Check your mindset. Do you have a growth mindset? Do you see a circumstance as an obstacle or an opportunity? Are you willing to learn something or let it control you? Embrace life with all its ups and downs and find the silver lining in all that happens.
- Practice mindfulness. Always try to be in the moment. Feel what you need to feel, don’t dwell there and don’t hide it in the corner. Be in the moment and then let it go. Move on to the next moment.
I had to remind myself of these points this week and while it does not take the pain and sadness away completely, it makes me appreciate a life well lived and the positive thoughts I can keep.
Ladies, thank you so much for reading. Let me know your thoughts….what are your coping points when you are dealing with life’s upheavals?
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“There is nothing I can say to take away your hurt but you have my shoulder to cry on and my loving hugs. Know that I will be here for you when you need me.
Lots of love
Happy