Are you high maintenance?
Blog
Are you high maintenance?
As women, we have all heard others classify us as high maintenance and for some of us, we made a point of not being high maintenance. Not demanding too much, not stating what we want, not being highly visible, keeping quiet, not expressing our opinions, not wanting for much. But who are we doing this for? So the other person does not think we are high maintenance?
Do you want to be a woman who does not need much, that settles for less, who ignores herself, who is always the good girl, who doesn’t have boundaries? Absolutely not!
For me, low maintenance looked like, not saying which restaurant I wanted to go to, I just went with whatever everyone else wanted. Being spoken to with disrespect and not setting boundaries, not eating good food as I didn’t want to spend the money on myself. Not speaking up when I needed help. Not resting when I was ill. Not taking care of myself. Not buying a good book.
By being low maintenance, I never fully lived my life.
I felt a lot of shame and guilt for wanting to change my life. I had to do the work to realise that I deserved these things and much, much more.
All of us should in fact be high maintenance. Not for others but for ourselves. Why are we playing small? We deserve to be us, to be fully who we are. We deserve to want the best for ourselves, to put ourselves first, to take exquisite care of ourselves. If we don’t, we cannot show up as the best versions of ourselves to others, we can’t help others, we can’t be strong for others.
Self-obsessed
Being high maintenance does not mean being self-obsessed, someone who demands a lot of attention or effort, someone who thinks she is better than others. No let’s reframe the term, high maintenance.
One of the things I changed, and this is still a work in progress, was to set boundaries. Often, it was not the big things, e.g being late or someone making a joke at my expense, or some more serious issues, someone was rude or dismissive towards me. I made a decision ahead of time, how I would react and what kind of boundaries I would put in place should these things happen. Funnily, after a few times enforcing my boundaries, I don’t get these behaviours much anymore.
I decided to be the woman I envisioned, I made decisions that cemented what I wanted to believe about myself, that I was worthy and deserved the best. A woman who has high standards.
You often don’t get what you want in life, you get what you tolerate. We tolerate a lot of things we don’t want and keep getting things we don’t want.
What do you want? What do you need? Go ahead and make a list. Are you giving any of these things to yourself?
Do you see yourself as a Ferrari or a Mazda? Ferrari’s are high maintenance, they require careful maintaining, they are gorgeous looking and run beautifully. They are striking and make a statement. That is how we should be as women. While Mazda’s may be reliable and not expensive to run, they are ordinary. Do we want to be ordinary and practical?
Personal Transformation Coach
Do you want to live your best life?
1 on 1 Personal Coaching
Hi, I’m Antoinette Porter, your hostess at Live Life Inspired where we will explore what is possible in your life. A life you can look back on and say, “Wow!! I did that!”
Extraordinary life
I don’t. I want to live an extraordinary life, a full life, I want my life to be worth living. I am guessing, you want that too, or you would not be reading this. You get to decide what kind of life you want to live and how you want to show up for it. Why would you choose mediocrity? Why not choose a life you love living. Why not choose things you love to do. Why not choose to be awesome and 100% yourself.
Yes, there are going to be people who have opinions about how you choose to live your life…and? So what. Let them have opinions. The only opinion that is worth anything is only yours. You can’t change what others think of you. You can only control who you are.
My life got so much better, when I started incorporating self-care, making deliberate decisions, setting boundaries and speaking to myself with love.
Learn to take care of you and your needs. Learn to love the person you are, even if you are a hot mess right now. Start living the life you have always wanted to live.
Till next week.
A
Xxx
PS If you want to become high maintenance, want to hold yourself in high regard, care for yourself and put yourself first, come chat to me on hello@lliautism.net
Check out my Day One Program.
To learn more about my Day One Program. Click HERE