A Parents Superpowers: Patience & Resilience

Patience and resilience.  Two words that sound so noble, so virtuous and, let’s be honest, so utterly exhausting.  As parens of autistic children, these qualities aren’t just nice to have – they are essential.  But here’s the thing:  you don’t need to be a saint to embody them.  Patience and resilience aren’t about perfection, they are about showing up, day after day, with a spirit of determination (and sometimes a lot of coffee).

Let’s talk about patience

If you’ve ever sat through a 45-minute meltdown over mismatched socks, you already know it’s not for the faint of heart.  Patience as a parent of an autistic child isn’t about never getting frustrated, it’s about learning to pause, breathe and keep going when things are overwhelming.

Take our mornings, for example.  My child has an incredibly specific routine.  Heaven help us all if we can’t find his deck of cards that he is currently attached to or sing the “wrong version” of a song.  (Yes, there are apparently right and wrong versions of “Happy Birthday.”  Who knew?). These moments test our patience to its very limits, but they also remind us that my child’s needs are valid, even if they feel baffling to me in the moment.

A Parents Superpowers:  Patience & Resilience

Patience isn’t something you are born with, it’s something you build.  Think of it as a muscle.  The more you practice, the stronger it gets.  Some days, you’ll feel like a zen master.  Other days, you will want to scream into a pillow, and that’s ok, too.

If patience is the ability to keep calm in the storm, resilience is what helps you bounce back after it’s over.  And let’s face it, life with autism often means riding out one storm after another.

There was a time I spent days creating a story and preparing my child to go and look at a children’s Xmas light display and have supper at a nearby restaurant.  We practiced.  We imagined.  We even made up a little Xmas song.  And when the big day came, he took one look at everything and proceeded to have a major meltdown.  All that effort and I felt like I’d failed.

A Parents Superpowers:  Patience & Resilience

But reliance isn’t about pretending everything is fine.  It’s about giving yourself permission to feel the disappointment, regrouping and finding another way forward.  A few months later, we tried an outdoor market with noise-cancelling headphones and a lot of deep breaths and a promise of ice-cream after – and we made it through.

Resilience is also about finding joy in the little wins.  Did my child eat a new food today?  Did they make a job or give me an unexpected hug?  Those moments are pure gold and they remind me why I keep going.

Let’s also not underestimate the power of humour.  When you are in the trenches of parenting, laughter can be the best survival tool.  Sure there are days when it feels impossible to find anything funny, but then there are moments that are so absurd you can’t help but laugh.

Like when my child decides what I need to wear and spends a very concentrated 10 minutes trying to dress me.  Or the day he decided that he needs to wear all ten pairs of shorts at the same time.  These moments remind me that while life with autism can be challenging, it’s also wonderfully unique.

Some tips for cultivating patience & resilience

1. Whether it’s your partner, a friend or a support group, don’t be afraid to ask for help or vent when you need to. Parenting isn’t meant to be a solo sport.
2. I know, I know – self-care is easier said than done. But even small things, like sneaking in a 5-minute cup of tea in peace, can recharge your batteries.
3. Big or small, every milestone matters. Did your child put their coat away or make eye contact during a conversation?  Celebrate it like they just won an Oscar.
4. Spoiler alert: You don’t have to get it right all the time.  Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent, they just need you, doing your best, day after day.
5. Some challenges will feel endless in the moment, but they’re often temporary. The meltdown over socks?  It won’t last forever, even if it feels like it will.

A Parents Superpowers:  Patience & Resilience

Some days, you will feel like you’ve got this parenting thing down.  Other days, you’ll feel like you’re barely holding it together.  That’s ok.  Patience and resilience are not about being superhuman (even though you actually are…) they’re about showing up, loving fiercely and finding the strength to try again tomorrow.

Till next week.

A

Xxx

PS: Do you feel like your life isn’t your own – constantly pulled in every direction, with no time for what truly matters to you?  The Creating Time program is here to change that.  It’s designed to help you take back control, set boundaries and create space for the things you love.  Life doesn’t have to feel like a race, it can feel intentional, calm and yours.

Don’t wait – sign up HERE to reclaim your time and your life.

To subscribe ~ see the form below👇👇👇