Transitions and Changes

Change can be hard for anyone, but for autistic children, it can feel overwhelming.  They thrive on predictability and routine because it helps them understand and feel in control of their world.  So when the world shifts, whether it’s something small like a change in breakfast time or something big like moving house, it can bring about stress, anxiety and disruptive behaviour.  As parents, we want to make these transitions smoother for our children, while also keeping our own well-being in mind.

While every child is unique, here are some common transitions that often trigger stress for autistic children:

• Even small disruptions in the daily routine, like a shift in bedtime, eating a different breakfast or altering the morning schedule can unsettle them.
• Whether it’s starting a new school year, changing classrooms or switching schools altogether, these changes can be particularly challenging. The new environment, different teacher and unfamiliar classmates may lead to heightened anxiety.
• Events like moving to a new house, a family member going on a trip or the arrival of a sibling can feel disruptive and uncertain.
• The shift from school routines to holiday schedules, family gatherings or vacations can bring unexpected stress. Even exciting activities may lead to feelings of overwhelm if they disrupt their normal structure.
• Things like a sudden cancellation of plans, illness or an unexpected visitor can be very difficult for an autistic child to manage, as they have not had time to mentally prepare for the shift.

Here is how to make transitions easier for your child:

• Autistic children do best when they know what’s coming. Give them as much advance notice as possible about any upcoming changes.  For e.g, it there is going to be a schedule change, you could say, “In two days, we will start having breakfast 30 minutes earlier because of school.”  Visual schedules, countdowns or social stories can be incredibly helpful to make this abstract concept of time more concrete.
• If the change involves a new place or new routine, try practicing it before it happens. Visit the new school ahead of time, walk through the new house or rehearse the new morning routine together.  Repeated exposure helps reduce anxiety because it makes the unfamiliar more familiar.
• Many children respond well to visual support. This could be a picture schedule, a calendar they can mark off or even photos of a new place or person they will be interacting with.  Visuals can help them process what’s coming and prepare mentally for it.

Transitions and Changes

• While some changes are unavoidable, keeping other parts of their routine stable can offer comfort. If the morning routine has to shift, try to ensure that other parts of their day remain the same, like bedtime or their favourite after school activity.
• Let your child know that it is ok to feel upset or anxious but remind them that the change is temporary or will lead to something positive. Gentle words or comfort and patience will go a long way.  For some children, having a “comfort item” they can hold onto during the change, whether it is a favourite toy or sensory object, can also provide relief.

Transitions and Changes

Remember transitions don’t only affect your child, they impact you too.  Managing your own stress and expectations is crucial, especially when your child looks to you for reassurance.

• While you might foresee that a particular change will cause distress, it is important to keep an open mind. Some transitions might go more smoothly than you expect and that’s ok!  Stay flexible and adjust your approach as needed.
• You are not going to get it perfect every time and that’s ok. It’s important to be kind to yourself.  There might be days when the transition feels like a battle, but remember – you are doing your best.
• Parenting an autistic child through changes can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure to schedule short breaks for yourself.  This could be as simple as stepping away for a quiet moment or asking a family member to help while you recharge.
• Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family or a community of other parents who understand what you are going through. Whether it’s sharing tips or just having someone to listen, connecting with others can reduce the sense of isolation that often comes with parenting during challenging transitions.

Every child reacts differently to change and there is no set timeline for how long the effects will last.  Some children may adjust to anew routine in a matter of days, while others may need weeks or even months.  During this period, you may notice that your child is more sensitive, has meltdowns more frequently or shows signs of stress like withdrawing or avoiding certain activities.

Transitions and Changes

Transitions can bring about a range of behaviours including meltdowns or tantrums and this is a result of sensory overload or feeling overwhelmed by the change.  Create a calming environment, reduce sensory input and use techniques that help soothe your child like deep pressure or slow breathing exercises.

Some children may hit, kick or engage in self-harm when they are struggling with a transition.  Respond with calmness, remove the source of stress and provide a sensory break if needed.

Remember you are not alone, there is always help and in this community you are free to get the support you need.

Till next week

A

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