Creating a supportive home environment

We know how important it is to create a supportive home environment, a sanctuary for our autistic babies and ourselves, where there is understanding, acceptance and growth all together.

One of the pillars in my program is the quest for getting yourself to acceptance.  Acceptance of your child as they are, acceptance of the situation and acceptance of a life different to what you had envisioned.  Parents of autistic children often battle with societal norms and expectation, but at home, there exists a haven where both you and your child are cherished, you for being you and your child is cherished for who they are without reservation or judgement.  So it is important to start with acceptance of your little one within your own home.

Creating a supportive home environment

What also creates a safe supportive environment at home is clear communication.  In the context of autism, it takes on a whole new meaning especially between you and your partner/spouse.  There is a lot of stress and uncertainty in the household as you are getting used to dealing with autism and you need to be able to talk about everything.  Your child’s well-being depends on both of you being on the same page as each other.  There is nothing worse than having different lines of action with regards to your child, you need to come to some sort of agreement about most of the decisions.

It puts a lot of strain on relationships, but it is worth communicating and coming to agreements on a lot of the issues.  If you are having trouble with this, it will be a good idea to talk to someone to help you through the stressful times. Having open dialogues, actively listening and respecting each other’s perspectives shows a sense of understanding and harmony within the family unit.

Then we also have to look at the communication between yourself and your child.  Whether they are verbal or pre-verbal, you need to find a way to communicate.  This may look different for each child and family.  It may be your child leading you to the thing they want, rudimentary sign language or teaching them words.  Just because your child has autism it does not mean that they cannot communicate.  They very much want to communicate and you should presume that they are competent.

Calm mama means a calm child

You may have heard this:  a calm mama means a calm child.  Often easier said than done, because we often feel out of our depth.  Having patience, with your child and yourself soothes the soul and nurtures growth.  Autism progresses and unfolds at its own pace and patience is invaluable in this situation.  Parents who cultivate patience and empathy create an atmosphere of calm resilience, where challenges are met with grace and victories celebrated with joy.

Most of our children thrive in an environment of routine and structure, providing a sense of predictability and security.  Establishing consistent daily routines, from mealtimes to bedtime rituals, offers stability and reassurance to both your child and yourself.  If you are not the most structured person, become a person who embraces routine.  You will make your life that much easier.  I do offer the Day 1 Program in my membership for you to go through in order to help you create routine and structure.  Doing this has been invaluable to my son and my life and business.  You may not think it, but within the framework of routine, flexibility actually blooms and allows space for spontaneity because all the things have been taken care of.

Creating a supportive home environment

For our children on the Spectrum, sensory experiences can be particularly acute.  Creating sensory-friendly spaces within the home involves thoughtful consideration of lighting, sound, texture and scent.  Max loves his smoothies, but cannot handle the blender, unless you alert him to the fact that you will be putting it on.  It was not ideal, but he coped.  We have since replaced the blender which is way quieter and now he does not mind it at all.  You can make some cozy nooks, like a small tent, for quiet time or areas designated to vibrant play which are designed to stimulate the senses.  Tailor make your home environment to accommodate your child’s individual sensory needs to create comfort and well-being.

As parents we have the power to create a haven where our child can flourish, where challenges may not be so hard and where there is plenty of love.  I would love to hear what practical things you have implemented in order to make your home a safe haven.

Till next week.

A

Xxx

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